Isn’t it crazy, crazy how life works. It literally does a 360, and if you’ve done right by life; and forgiven yourself with true intentions to be pure, all is well. I sit and I think, certain times I used to cry, hysterically, about things that I had no control over. I wanted life to be the picture I painted at that moment, and I wouldn’t say that wasn’t meant to be because without going through that stage, I wouldn’t be myself today. Literaturebyjessc is my heart, my way of being caring to others, my way of giving what I wasn’t given.
As I surpass each day, I am in the mix of a lot twirling around me I feel, almost like a circle. Except that dot in the middle is me, I’m my own peace. I’ve figured that in order to move forward in life I had to go back and correct my wrongs. So I started with my health first, I didn’t ask for epilepsy, nor the consequences that come along with; but I beat the odds. After 27 seizures in one, I should be looking down on ya’ll. I say this everytime, my time wasn’t yet, it was amazing to open my eyes and see the doctors lined up around me like it was time to take me a way, and here I come back from something THEY doubted me on. Now in the mix of all of this, I was warned that my friends and family may separate themselves from me for whatever reason in which they did.
I had people believing that i was using my medicine and medical issues as excuses to escape the many things I was growing through such as relationships, adulting, coming out of the streets, learning business. I had so much that fell into my hands once I stood up and noticed if I don’t stand for something, I’ll fall for anything. And to be honest, I’d rather do it on my own. I felt like I was doubted relationship wise, and that’s what gave me the energy to keep going. Because now it’s not just a doctor, it’s not just family and friends, now it’s my companionship in general. When I found somebody who loved me for me and accepted my condition, I still wasn’t ready to give my all. I had just started my business and nothing was about to mess that up. His energy didn’t match mine, I wanted to sit at a desk, he wanted to sit in the streets.
It’s funny how tables turn, and those same people that doubted me. Those same people that stopped hanging with me because I was epileptic, those same people that thought I was just sitting on my butt chillin’, all in somehow shape or form needed me. Whether it was cash app $5 for diapers when I really new wassup, babysit, talk, cry, a shoulder, an ear, but where was all of this when I needed it? See now, I can’t give any advice to any situation you know why? Because I had determination and ambition to prove everyone wrong. Once I did, it was I who had the last laugh. I’m not bitter, grimey, nor shadey. I’ll give you the shirt on my shoulders if I had it, and I’ll never say “I told you so.” Revenge, isn’t even the word I’m looking for because I never aim for revenge, I aim to be better. But it feels a lot better the positive way.
Literaturebyjessc – Jessica Hunter
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