If heaven had a phone, there would be multiple calls I’d need to make. But heaven couldn’t wait for my grandfather any longer. Our time to pass is never promised, it could be tonight, it could be tomorrow, and then we sit and cry or feel guilt about the things we did before one has passed. If you feel you need to apologize or love someone while they are still here, please do so. Be there for the people you want to, but are holding it back. I’m glad I got the time to be able to stand under my grandpa so much, we did everything together. We laughed, we joked, we studied family history, I’ve learned a lot from him.
I’ve also lost a lot of family members over three years and then some. Tomorrow is never promised and though I have many phone calls to make to heaven, I’d hope and pray that my grandpa would answer that call. I want to tell him about all of my accomplishments and things people said I couldn’t do with a disability. Out of everyone, my grandfather believed in me the most, taking me to doctor’s appointments, seeing me seize knowing it was hard for him to see and to breathe. I’d apologize just because he had to see that part of me, I’d allow him to know that I am carrying on his legacy of attempting to keep the family together and still being a helping hand. I know with just that one phone call, the whole heaven would light up with family members that I never even met before, that would still shine on me. When I visit parts of the cemetery, the sun shines down on me in a way I can’t explain. It’s indescribable as to how I feel emotionally, but heaven couldn’t wait for him. I haven’t fully come to terms with that or grief which has no timing, you can’t tell someone a way to grieve or that everything is going to be okay. All you can say is “I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.” For now, those phone calls that I can’t make, those angels that I can’t see, but can feel, continue guarding and holding on to me the best way you know how.
It’s okay to pray and talk to the most high about these things. You never know how that message is relayed or who else is listening. The blessings that come your way aren’t “just because.” Each blessing comes with a lesson and a gift. The lesson is to show you how to continue in through life with hopes that you don’t trip over the same stone you’ve done before, and a lot of times, it is the most high who is watching you make those steps, but if he prevented every mistake, what would you really learn?
– Literaturebyjessc ( Jessica Hunter )
Literaturebyjessc 
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