The fact that this question was presented is absolutely amazing. I can proudly tell a story that put me in a bit of a depression, yet inspired me to create this webpage. I kept a small notebook where I found it easier to write my feelings out instead of discussing them. I did this because the main person who was supposed to understand me didn’t, but that notebook did. It was easier to write without being judged or talked back to in a different way. For once there was something that just listened and didn’t say anything back. It was my way of coping with more than just one thing, not just relationship issues, but a lot more that I had been through that was hard to discuss. Unfortunately, it was found, thrown in my face, while being ripped. I won’t sit up here and lie, that hurt, bad, yet in the timing I understood a tad bit, but how could you? Guess what, if it wasn’t for that day, this page probably wouldn’t be here today, I wouldn’t have gone on to become greater, so no I don’t regret it.
Seeing that notebook being ripped up so hard and quick, it’s like everything I cared about was gone in that moment, I started to feel myself losing hope and f*cks to give. Then I thought about it, I had people watching me make poetry and Youtube videos who told me I had the power, the power to be anything I wanted to and take it further in all aspects, and that’s exactly what I did. Even with having epilepsy, I no longer wrote my emotions or poems down, I stopped writing so bad that when a pen touched my hand for me to sign something, my hand would shake. I would just freestyle everything, I even started short stories leaving a day or two for suspense of what’s to come next. Not many knew that in some cases I was writing about myself in poems and stories, I just redirected the attention of my character to become someone else. I had people seeing me in public asking questions as to what was next, I also had those who knew me ask how did I come out of such a deep depression. It was God. The situation I was in wasn’t meant for me, and it showed as I started my next chapter with every blessing I didn’t think was coming.
Even up to now, I still consider blogging as writing, yet not a physical form. I enjoy being able to speak so highly and proud at a young age, I still have way more than just this LLC and degree to accomplish. I’ve been in parades, expressed poems in front of many, most importantly my city, an advocate of many things such as Epilepsy, writing, and my community. If I knew any of that was going to happen, I would have been given the book to be ripped, although it was hidden when not in use. Just a bit of humor, we experience trials and tribulations for a reason, I probably wouldn’t be in this predicament if it wasn’t for those things that happened prior, sad to say. I even went out of my way to help others grow out of similar situations. “It is more blessed to give, than to receive.”
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