From my teens, to my twenties, I wanted to be grown so bad. That was due to strict parenting, and not being able to do a lot of the things I wanted to do with my friends. I understand the protection, but if your child has the right mindset, and you’re still unsure, how will they learn if they don’t trip over the stone without you holding their hand? That’s exactly what I did, I had my fun, I also had moments where I did trip and fall. The first time I did although my mom was upset with me, she picked me up. That was all I needed because once that happened, I picked myself up and got my own apartment.
Now one thing I would have told myself at 20 years old is don’t rush to grow up. Stay focused on your growth and what you have started, and you’ll go further than expected. Family is always important no matter what, but once you’ve started your own family, that is what also matters as well. I should’ve learned how to divide my time equally so that I would’ve had more time with my grandpa instead of having time with him when I was in the hospital due to my seizures. I should’ve saved a certain amount of money to buy a house instead of renting an expensive studio apartment. Don’t get me wrong, the apartment was lovely, and so were the events that I threw there, but that came from not being able to do those things as a child, and the love of seeing my friends happy knowing they were safe, and those close to me had someone to count on. If I had gotten a house at the time, I would never have to count on anyone but myself. If anything went wrong, I always had me to count on, which I still do, but it probably would have been a little bit easier. Having my own apartment was easier because of my focus level, my determination to want to become better even when I was already happy. My peace was comfortable knowing people can come and go, I was comfortable knowing that no matter what I had myself to fall on irregardless, and that’s what the relationship that I came out of at the time taught me, how to rise above yourself.
Ironically in relationships, friendships, and family relationships, when people see you doing great without their help is when they want to become closer with you again. Unfortunately, once I reach that point in life, the whole focus is on me and I tend to unintentionally block people out of that because you will not ruin what ever it is I have going on for myself. And that’s when I took things further and went in too having a website, networking with artist and dj’s from all around, working two jobs, performing in front of people, and so much more. It felt great to tell someone “Okay you gotta go because I have to go handle this,” and no matter how I got it handled, all that mattered was I did it. So to the 20 year old me, you’ve had your fun, you’ve made mistakes, you’ve also made a of achievements in your 20’s as is, but we’re welcoming 30 soon, get back on your grind, and to who you used to be. Do what you were known for, people are counting on you, people need your hand in work, and those that are silent in the back have stepped forward to show you they’ve been clapping for you the whole time, and that speaks volumes.
Literaturebyjessc (Jessica Hunter )
Literaturebyjessc 
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